The marriage ceremony is a joining ceremony. It joins two people, two families, and two communities. Most of marriage ceremonies I have officiated at have symbolized this joining using either a Unity Candle set or a Sand Ceremony set at some point in the wedding.
The Unity Candle ceremony usually consists of one large central candle and two or more taper candles. The individual taper candles are lit and then in unison, the taper candles light the central candle symbolizing two becoming one. And in a ceremony involving children this also symbolizes individuals becoming family.
In a Sand Ceremony, there is a central larger, empty container and two or more, smaller containers filled with sand. The smaller containers of sand are poured by the bride and groom in unison into the larger container. The blending of the grains of sand means they can never be poured again into the individual containers, symbolizing how the two indivduals can never be separated and returned to their original form.
When considering which ceremony to choose, here are some points to consider:
1. Traditional Weddings: Although both Unity and Sand ceremonies work equally well, the majority of couples chose the Unity candle ceremony to perform in a religious setting. Churches, synagogues and mosques have used candles for centuries to symbolize the light within and without. Using the Unity Candle ceremony draws on these centuries of spiritual ritual and adds richness to the experience.
2. Marriages with children: When you are blending families together and are wanting to include the children, a unity candle ceremony can be a very powerful bonding experience for all involved. Having each member of the newly created family lighting the central candle from their own individual candle honors both the individuality and the blending in a beautiful way.
3. Multi-cultural weddings or weddings where the bride and groom are from very different parts of the country: When the families are very different, a sand ceremony can celebrate this unique joining. In one ceremony I officiated at, the bride was from the United States and the groom was from Mexico. They choose to use sand from each of their two countries in the ritual and in pouring them together into the same container, visually demonstrated the blending of their two cultures. In another wedding, the bride and groom chose one color of sand to represent their unity and two other colors of sand to represent their individual families and communities. The blending of all three was a colorful and powerful ritual for all.
4. Outdoor Venues: If you are doing an outdoor wedding, I strongly suggest using the sand ceremony kit. Nothing is more nerve wracking to the bride and groom than trying to light (or watching their officiate trying to light), a candle in the wind.
Whichever ceremony set you decide to use, these powerful rituals will add depth and meaning to your wedding day.
About the Author
For a large and beautiful selection of Unity Candles or Sand Ceremony Kit visit: Unity candle at http://www.weddingchimeaccessories.com which also features exquisite toasting flutes, ring pillows, guestbooks and pens, and wedding collections. Free Wedding Vow Workbook with every purchase. Kathleen Ball is a marriage counselor and wedding officiate.
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