Master Slave Relationship - Is It Going Too Far To Say Many Relationships Are Like This? by Leo Ryan

So many marriages and relationships fit into the master slave relationship category! Has that got your attention? Perhaps it has, but you are probably thinking, what the heck is this idiot on about, that is an outrageous thing to say.

It may seem that way to you, but I’m going to spell out why I think this is the case, by raising a number of common relationship problems that will demonstrate what I am talking about.

At the same time as I say that, I’m also aware there are many of you who will scoff at what I have to say, and dismiss it as political correctness gone mad, or simply ludicrous.

I’m also aware that even though I know this master slave relationship classification is an accurate description of so many relationships and marriages, it will go through a process before it is acknowledged by a lot of people.

It will follow the path set out by the philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer, who stated that all truth goes through three stages. 1. It is ridiculed. 2. It is violently opposed. 3. It is accepted as self evident.

A classic example of of this process was demonstrated when it was first established that the earth is not flat. Up until the 16th century it was universally accepted as being flat. It was scientifically discovered at that time that it is a globe. This was met with much controversy for some time, but of course it was eventually accepted as self evident.

So when I refer to master slave relationship, let us look at what I’m talking about. Firstly, my dictionary describes a slave as a person who is the legal property of another and is forced to obey them, or a person who works very hard without proper remuneration or appreciation. Equivalent terms are servant or lackey, and refers to working excessively hard.

The idea that women were the property of men in marriage and had to obey them was the accepted belief up until not that long ago. It is still the belief of a lot of men. In so far as what happens in practice in many marriages and relationships, the attitude remains widespread today.

The traditional marriage ceremony required women to promise to obey their husbands. Even now, a number of people use this format at weddings.

In some relationships, a master slave relationship is quite blatant in so far as what women in relationships of this type are expected to do for the men.

Of course it would never be seen in those terms, but what happens in the relationship, amounts to slavery on the part of the women.

When we look at the broad range of common relationship problems that many women in relationships experience, there are many aspects that come under this heading.

There are the extreme situations of women in abusive relationships being treated brutally in a whole range of ways, including sexual abuse. Is this any different from a master slave relationship where the slave owner could treat their slaves any way they wanted to?

As a counselor I was dumbfounded at the number of incredible stories I was hearing from a whole range of women. They lived in fear, never knowing what might happen to them, walking on egg shells all the time, prisoners in their own homes.

Rape in marriages and relationships is rampant. Sometimes it is blatant, often it is more subtle, and not thought of as rape. There are many women who feel obliged to ‘come across’, afraid of what might happen to them if they don’t. Most would not consider this as rape.

The book, “Silent Death”, is about Julie Ramage who was killed by her husband after she left him. Julie indicated during the 23 year period of their marriage she experienced a range of abuse, including being raped on a daily basis.

There is another aspect of relationships that amounts to a master slave relationship that would never be considered in this light. I am referring to the domestic and parental responsibilities.

Any relationship survey question that is ever carried out on this subject, indicates overwhelmingly that women carry the burden in this regard.

It is well known this is the state of affairs in most households without the need for any survey.

Without much thought, for example, I am aware of two couples where the men have never done any cooking at all during the whole marriage.

Women are renowned for carrying out these responsibilities, as if it is their duty or place in life. Isn’t this equivalent to being a servant or lackey, and the same as a master slave relationship?

It is not possible to have the closeness, connection, intimacy and overall wonderful benefits, when relationships are like these. Everyone misses out on having a fuller, richer and more satisfying life. Seems like a big sacrifice to me!!

About the Author

Leo Ryan is a counselor with over twenty years experience in the field dealing primarily with relationships and particularly abusive relationships. He has given many talks, seminars and workshops on the subject, as well as being interviewed by all sectors of the media about his work. He is the author of the ebook "How to Have An Extraordinary Relationship". http://www.relationship-tips-for-you.com